Death Defying Derring-Do

March 20, 2010

To Whom it May Concern ;

After an appropriate period of deliberation, I have come to the decision to tender my resignation from this workplace, effective immediately.

Please know that I still maintain a high level of respect for you as a supervisor and a manager, and I thank you sincerely for the support and assistance you have offered me in each of those roles.  I have been proud to work for this kitchen over the past year, it has been a journey that has provided me an unparalleled foundation to move forward to new and exciting opportunities.

To that end, I have decided to become a professional pirate.  It has always been a dream of mine to live the life of a swashbuckling female corsair, answering to none and master of all.  Once my crew of deck scrubbing men is assembled, we shall take to the empty unknown of the high seas to pursue fortune, fame, and hair raising adventure.

Our path may not be filled with the sweet comfort and hi-tec wonder that your hotel kitchen provides, but we shall nonetheless move forward to carve a name for ourselves in the name of adventure and death defying derring-do.  Once I have all deck man at my foot and the Jolly Roger is flapping high above me, I believe I will find my true calling.

Please note that I am currently accepting applications for First Officer, if you are at all interested in applying.  I will provide a full food and medical plan, which will offer exclusive meals from my ass along with coverage of all maladies other than scurvy and the occasional bout of rickets.

Sincerely,

W. Beneath

If you search for it, this is the #1 resignation letter on the internet. It’s mine. Others have copied it, but I still have the original draft as proof.